— By Andru Shively — 

Out of the wreckage of the Great Fire of Rome, Emperor Nero built his megalomaniacal monument to vanity and excess, the Domus Aurea – the Golden House – featuring banquet halls, lakes, a 30-metre statue of himself, and walls adorned with gems and gold. Much like the infamous ginger-haired Tyrant of Rome, nearly two millennia later, the would-be Mad Emperor of Washington is busy designing his own palatial complex while long-standing institutions around him are put to the flame.

Soon after returning to the White House, President Donald Trump also had its walls gilded – fool’s gold, if the rumours of cheap plastic are true. Now, the MAGA-lomaniac is getting to the really Great part: last week, the East Wing of the domus alba was razed to the ground to make way for a new ballroom – this, after the reported pledge that the existing structure would only be minimally impacted. And while every president has left his mark on the neoclassical mansion, usually it’s with taste. Trump’s regal vision conceives a pavilion dwarfing the central residence, nearly doubling its area.

The only physical proof of concept for now is a small white plastic model that looks to be ripped out of some Trump-endorsed edition of The Game of Life – which wouldn’t be so far-fetched. The Game of Life: go to uni, have kids, get ill, fall into debt, stiff contractors, scam investors, tariff nations into submission – move the little plastic car and throw around toy money for imaginary consequences.

At least in Ancient Rome, Nero’s successors erased his ego-stroking monstrosity. In our time, all that gets paved over is the Rose Garden. Assuming Trump breaks character and doesn’t skimp on materials, his self-aggrandising, strongman-giving ballroom is likely to endure, casting its shadow of extravagance over those who follow.